I’ve decided I need help with math. But, I’ll get to that in a minute. Last night was supposed to be a nice and easy 5.5 miler. Normally, the run after the Long is slower than normal. Not “You Light Up My Life” slow but more like “Cotton Alley” slow. If you don’t know those songs, look ’em up! But anyway, I need those kinds of runs so that I can forget where I am and just be. If that makes sense. I have a relationship with New Guinea that allows me to forget I’m snow-locked in a basement, running on a Livestong treadmill. I can close my eyes and just…go. It’s blissful to get lost in the run. Last night was the exception. Lottery ping pong balls of thoughts were bouncing all through my head. I couldn’t shut down the chaos and I couldn’t relax if I tried. If it wasn’t family, it was work. If it wasn’t work, it was health. The aunt is still in ICU. The other is a week into rehab. The mother bailed so the daughter is stuck making excuses. The blame game is well underway. The budget is finished…only the process has now changed. The DOE still looms. Two days and counting. I meet with a genetic therapist at the end of the month to talk results. So many bubbles of thought. I went to New Guinea thinking I could lose myself in 5.5 miles and for an hour have a “blank space where my mind should be” as Trey says. Only, I didn’t program the Dread for 60 minutes. Somehow I asked for 56 minutes. Somehow I miscalculated my pace. So much for
easy lazy. But! But. But, here’s the kicker. I didn’t notice my mistake until I had been running for a while. In order to finish with a distance of 5.5 I needed to haul azz – like 7.5 min miles for the rest of the time. For frame of reference, I bet my short legs take three strides just to keep up with every one of yours. 7.5 minute miles a shore, but I did it. 5.56 done.
In the end I didn’t get a chance to work out the logistics of a troubled mind, but I did find a new song to add to the rotation: “Joy” by Lucinda Williams.