Before I Kill Someone

There is this one particular place. I don’t know how to describe it other than indescribable. Well, what it means to me is beyond description. Have you ever been to a place that totally gets to you? I mean, really truly gets inside you and pulls your soul out piece by piece. Tell me if you can.

For me, that place is Monhegan Island. The sad thing is this means nothing to so many people because they think they already know. They’ve read all the countless glowing articles. I read one just the other day that called Monhegan one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I don’t dispute that. I don’t. It’s just that well…that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not referring to scenic overlooks, breathtaking sunsets, picturesque lobster boats bobbing in the harbor, quaint gift shops. I’m not talking about wild flowers and flying birds. I’m not there for the gorgeous landscape too pretty to paint. It’s nice but that’

I’m there because I can’t survive without it. To say it’s in my soul is a mistake. That’s selling my entire psyche short. The island is pulsing in my blood and when I sense it ebbing away, when I know I have been away too long, I truly feel as though I am dying. Like I might kill someone. Remember when they took Heidi off the mountain; was torn away from her grandfather? She fell ill and people began to fear she would perish? That’s me. I understand what poor Adelheide was going through. Trapped in her fancy city home she missed the country air. She missed the dirty goats. She missed the wildflower fever. Put her back with her grandfather I cried! Because I get it. I’m that way with sea salt wind, crashing waves and tall, tall pines. I need ocean breezes and the dusty, dirty dirt roads. No high heels. No sticky lipstick. No fancy clothes. Dress me in cut off jeans and an old Iron Maiden tee shirt. Hand me a beer. Let the dirt collect under my fingernails; the salt crust on my skin; the breeze tangle my hair. Take me home before I kill someone. Seriously.

Categories: Confessional, life, Monhegan | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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