Rant for Rent

Why do tourist blogs about Monhegan drive me crazy? Is it because they are filled with enough inaccuracies to make me question whether they were actually there? I read an artist’s blog recently where she spelled the names of other artists wrong. Famous artists like Wyeth. Only to her it was Wyath. Wyath? Really? Don’t get me started on bogus physical descriptions of the island either. Monhegan doesn’t have a rain forest nor is it two miles long nor is it a carnival ride with your name on it. Okay. Maybe that’s your way of saying Cathedral Woods was lush and green. Maybe it was raining at the time. Maybe walking all those dirt roads made you feel like the island was twice as long. Maybe you met enough freaks to think you at the fair. Okay. I get all that.

I guess what drive me nuts has nothing to do with the tourists. It is the fact I’m not home. The same old illness that sneaks into my heart is now in my head and it’s making me mean. It’s like the guy who wrote about what a great place Monhegan is for surfing. I was only mildly upset that he thought he could boogie board off Blackhead. I was more perturbed by the thought that maybe he saw something different in my hometown; the amazing idea that he wanted something untrue for my island. Was he trying to make it something it wasn’t to boost its appeal? I don’t know. All I know is that it’s time for me to go home.

Fear not tourist bloggers. I won’t attack your flowery speech about how beautiful Monhegan is. I agree with you. What ails me is pure homesickness. Plain and simple. In another few weeks I’ll climb down off my mountain of bullsh!t and be a nicer person. Who knows? Maybe I’ll go surfer off Blackhead.

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