Show Me the Fat Girl

I don’t subscribe to any fitness or fashion magazines. If anything I prefer ones about food. Yummy food. But every once in a while I will pick up something frivolous  and fun. And then wish I hadn’t. I’m a glutton for punishment. I love to give my psyche a hard time. Love to fill the head with self-doubt and mirror loathing. It’s those damn fashion sections about “what to wear if…”

You know the ones – what to wear if you are pear shaped. What to wear if you have a flabby tummy. What to wear if you are boyish or short. If you have barely there breasts or all too present lumpy thighs…First of all, those articles always feature models who don’t have any physical setbacks like tires around the middle or mammoth thighs or back fat. The girls chosen for those articles are are waifs who would look fantastic in paper bags and burlap sacks. How do I know if the bathing suit you are suggesting I wear to disguise flabby thighs and huge hips actually does the trick when the model wearing it looks like she hasn’t eaten in weeks and has no hips to speak of? If you really want to promote a product and impress me put up before and after pics to illustrate your point. With your recommendation and without. Or. Find a friendly fat girl who will look (magically) 25 pounds lighter in said suit. Because of said suit. Pictures speak a thousand words so show me the proof. I’m listening. Show me the fat girl.

And another thing. What happens when you’re an average individual with more than one “flaw.” Say, lumpy legs and jiggly arms? You’ve made suggestions for skirting the issue of thunder thighs with something frilly and a separate choice for chicken wings, but what about combining them? I’m always frustrated by these one ailment at a time remedies. I guess you’re supposed to pick the one thing that distresses you the most and disguise it. To hell with the rest of you.

I’m so sick of this ‘camouflage this, hide that’ world. We all have features we wish were on someone else. Everyone else has something we wish we had. We can’t swap anything unless we want it in plastic or supported by chemicals. Get real! You are who you are. Period.

*Having said all that I just got back from a full day at the salon where these magazines fester. During my mani (dark teal), pedi (light teal), haircut and “extreme” waxing I had plenty of time to check out what NOT to wear! 😉

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Categories: Confessional | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Show Me the Fat Girl

  1. aimless22

    too funny! Worried about the bathing suit? Just say that mantra and as you say yourself, “You are who you are.”

  2. Nope. Not worried about the suit at all. Don’t plan on wearing one! Just thoughts after staring at chick mags for several hours!

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