I have heard about Oprah and her ah-ha moments. Edison’s light bulb. Helen Keller’s Now I See. Epiphanies. Breakthroughs. Beginning to see the light. It’s Just Right There.
I had such a moment today. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Believe you me. Believe me you. Get through it. I have officially decided to stand in front of my cousin’s loved ones and speak from the heart. No script. No notes. No cheating. I will stand there and open my mouth and hope nothing offensive slips out. And if something does? Fukc ’em. My cousin was an offensive guy. That’s all there is to it.
I have officially decided to get out of the self-destructive ditch I have been lying in for weeks. Release myself from the rut. Wait. Who am I kidding? Did I say weeks? Months. I meant months. It is time to jump down from the pity-me wagon and stand on my own two feet. I have to stand up to everything that has bothered and bogged me down. Stand up and kick its teeth in. I may rock the boat but at least I’m on it. On board 100%.
I went to an anti-fracking rally yesterday. How powerful it was to see people have passion, find anger, and take charge. How inspiring it was to hear people raise their voices for something they not only believe in but have the courage to act strongly upon. A girl next to me said, “I don’t know anyone here. I just came for the experience.” It floored me. I almost envied all of those angry people until I realized I used to have passions that I felt just as strongly. I too had fires that refused to go out. And yet, somehow they did. I made a vow right then and there to find a match, find some tinder. Strike a spark.