Aside from national library conventions I don’t think us librarians as a whole get out much – at least not as much as we should (well, not unless you are Nancy Pearl). Speaking for myself, my career doesn’t put me front and center very often. To put it quite simply, I don’t look for exposure and it definitely doesn’t find me. Usually I like it that way. I’m quite content to stay on my side of the books. So I’m not sure why I agreed to go to a city-wide gala. Maybe I was a last-minute substitution for someone else who couldn’t make it? Maybe I was a psychology experiment for someone’s sick mind. Either way I was asked to attend and either way I agreed to go. Just like that.
Black tie optional meant Kisa was buying a new suit. Black. A compromise between being a monkey and looking meager. I took the opportunity to buy a new dress. The last time I went dress shopping it was agonizing and I ended up with something akin to a disaster.
This is what I know. I am at my most confident when I can try something on and like what I see immediately. When I can like myself without scrutiny. When I know I’m comfortable in my own skin as is. Smiley and I ventured to the mall and within three dresses I knew what I wanted. Simple. As. That. No drama. I tried on two black and one purple. The first back was so simple and so boring I didn’t even bother to show it off. I looked okay. It fit. It wasn’t black tie material. Dress number two (the second black) was a Marilyn-ish halter top. This I showed Smiley with one question, “is this too low cut?” When she said no I knew I had found the one in two. Just to be safe I tried on the purple thing. It too was nice but decidedly complicated. Asymmetrical neckline and just weird. Really I knew the dress I wanted. I knew it at two. I should have stopped there. This I know.