Not Because You Have To

Every year I write about how little Valentine’s Day means to me. Every year I tell people I would rather have the show of affection on a different day. An indifferent day not designed by Hallmark or designated on the calendar. Show me love on an ordinary Sunday. Surprise me with affection when it’s not be expected.
I think this loathing of 2/14 came from the irrational fear that people did things on the day out of obligation. Because they had to and not because they wanted to. How much of it was pressure from the mark of the calendar and how little of it was from the heart? I always wondered. The wondering made me worry.
Relationships are hard work. Day in and day out they aren’t a walk in the park. It takes giving and taking to make IT work. Every. Single. Day. Over the weekend I got my hair cut. Of hair that reached the middle of my back I asked for 4 inches to be cut off. It now sits a healthy one inch beyond my shoulders. I hate it. I lost the longest four inches of my life. Oddly enough it’s longer in the front that it is in the back. It looks hacked. My kisa shrugged and said, “maybe that’s the style?” Whatever it is, it isn’t me. But, kisa likes it because it’s on me. So, for him I make the best of it. For him I stand in the mirror and style it. For him I patiently pluck out the short silvers that crop up. If me, myself and moi were single we would hide it up in a hair tie and forget it. If we were single I would be seething about this style.
Kisa and I, we aren’t celebrating Valentine’s Day. We’re ignoring 2/14 completely. I think we’re having hot dogs for dinner. I am all together not a fan of a day designed for dumb gifts. I’ll be happy when that chocolate-dipped-fruit advertisement goes back into hiding. I’m sick of seeing it every 20 minutes. And that ad for flowers! The one with the woman gloating about how all the other women in her office are green with envy; she’s practically gleeful that her man made all the other men look bad. Let’s see…Flowers that inspire jealousy and showcase romantic incompetence. How heart warming. How thoughtful. Give me a break.
Kisa and I DO have “Valentine” plans but I think they’re on the 21st or Mexican Flag Day. Sometime. I’m not sure. However we celebrate what’s in our hearts it won’t be guided by a day on the calendar or a stupid commercial on television.

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Categories: Confessional, life | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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