What is about the dying of the leaves that depresses me so? What is it about this time of year that gets me so freakin’ low? Wait. I know. Everything bad happens this time of year. People think I exaggerate when I make such blanket statements. Not so. Consider this:
Last year it was the start of the end of a marriage and the death of dear Indiana. This year it’s an uncle with raging Alzheimer’s and walking pneumonia. Those are slow burning, getting worse by the day moments. Yes, on October 16th a friend sent me a text, “how are you?” I didn’t have the heart to answer. I still haven’t answered. How am I? Considering my near-fainting spell has taken away my treadmill but given me one MRI of the brain (had that last night), and an echogram of the heart (next Thursday), I’d say not so good. Considering I set off the house alarm and couldn’t remember the password and almost got a visit from the police, I’d say definitely not so good. How am I? Considering just hours before my friend’s text my mother had called to say my favorite cousin was dead, I’d say terrible.
Yes, it’s definitely THAT time of year. That time when nothing seems to be glass half full. I’m still trying to sort it all out. But, I promise you, when I do I will come out smiling. It may take me some time but I’ll get through this. I always do.