The Dive From Clausen’s Pier by Ann Packer pissed me off. Judging by the fact two totally different people confessed to throwing the book across the room I’m sure that being pissed off is not an uncommon reaction to the way things turn out in the story. In truth, I would love to meet these fellow book throwers to find out why they launched their copies. We could compare notes. I would love to compare because I bet no one threw their book for the reason I chucked mine.
In the end it was Carrie who killed me. I saw myself in every one of her selfish, cowardly moves. Let me start from the beginning. As I laid out in my book review Carrie leaves a small town in Wisconsin for the bright lights of big New York City. She is escaping more than a dead end town. She is also leaving a dying relationship in hopes of making a fresh start for herself and her sanity. As Carrie leaves she has little regard for the demolished relationships she leaves in her wake. Her fiance, best friend and mother all are mystified by her actions. But, this is not the offense that offends me. I applaud Carrie’s escape and even though she hurts people on her way out I feel it was a necessary price to pay. I’m saying this mostly because I crashed and burned my way through a few hearts in order to make my escape as well.
But, back to Carrie. She’s in New York. She starts meeting new people and making a life for herself. She even starts to taking classes in clothing design. In other words, she’s growing, taking care of herself. Here’s where it gets dicey for me. In New York Carrie also starts a new relationship with an older and mysterious (reclusive) man. He is different from anyone she has ever known. He makes her feel things she has never felt before. In return Carrie draws him out of his shell. He’s tough to figure out but little by little Carrie gets him to reveal things about himself he has never told anyone. When he takes her to meet his parents you feel as if Carrie has made a significant break though with this man. Yet. Yet, she leaves him. She forsakes her new start for the safety of small town home.
Again, there I am. My actions are in the black and white. I did the same inexcusable thing. Exposing a heart until someone if forced to confess he has one. Trampling on the tender. I don’t know when I’ll ever forgive myself.