The Kisa and I went to a wedding this weekend. Syracuse. Well, not really. 45 minutes in a church was spent in Syracuse. Every other second was spent somewhere else. Cazenovia and the like.
Watching other people get married does weird things to me. I either daydream about my own crazy exchange of vows seven years ago or I fret about the mistakes being played out in front of me. I try to ignore the religious “thou shalts” and refrain from squirming in uncomfortable pews. I never expect to get anything out of the event. But, it was at this Syracuse ceremony that I learned the three rules of romance; the three must-have elements to a good marriage: loyalty, trust and love. Errr. No. I disagree. Not that those aren’t good things to have in a solid relationship of any sort. They’re just not the only things you gotta have. I would add three more (with alliteration, if you please): Compromise, communication and kindness.
Compromise: you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Oldest trick in the book.
Communication: none of that “what’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong *sulk sulk sulk*” sh!t. Spit it out.
Kindness: If you can’t say something nice….In other words, say what you mean to say. Just find a not-so nasty way of getting your point across.
My father-in-law added his own spin on the big three: sex, drugs and rock and roll. My first thought was Um. no. Then well, maybe. Actually, he might be onto something, so I say yes, definitely yes.
I can hardly confess to having this romance thing sorted out 100%. Honestly. Obviously I have my opinions and I have a pretty good idea what works for me and mine. I’ve never thrown anything heavier than a shoe at him (and that was back in 1999 so it doesn’t really count. I think the statute of limitations has expired on that offense), but really, I can’t complain. And I won’t.