Ever since I moved away from my favorite run route I have been a practicing gerbil. The TreadWheel to nowhere. Round and round I go without going anywhere. Outside my window there are no sidewalks; none in my immediate vicinity. I need to flirt with automobile traffic to even get to one and once I’ve done that it’s noisy and dirty and uncomfortable. Needless to say I am not an outdoor runner these days (and before you say it, no I will not drive to a place to run. It just goes against my sensibilities. I just can’t do it.)
It was this post that made me miss my old haunt:
November 19th, 2005
Angst. I felt like lead today. Never again am I submitting my body to bad food, not am I skipping a workout. I’m angry at myself for letting a good time get in the way of such an important goal (I’m assuming I meant the half marathon because I have never been a weight watcher.) Running felt like hell. I was dragging a sack of potatoes behind my azz and sucking wind the entire way. I never got into that groove I so love to find. It’s colder now and I can’t seem to figure out hot to “blow snot,” either. I’m paranoid I’m going to end up wearing the slime on my face and it’ll freeze there like some green gross glob. Someone will mistake me for a snot-wearing, sweaty, heavy breathing, lumbering lunatic. Look out! A mental patient on the loose! As it is, men yell ever-so-flattering comments like “yeah, baby!” and “jiggle your jugs!” out their truck windows as they fly past me at 50 miles per hour (in a 25, I might add!). Are they blind? These A cups are not going anywhere -up or down. Seriously.
Euphoria is fleeting – The good news is that I ran my last route (the no-hill route) again…and thensome. According to iShape I finally broke three miles. Won’t know for sure until I can get kisa to drive it in his truck. I do know that I ran through Ruby – the entire album (39 minute/40 seconds) and I added another 1 min/40s in order to go home. I’m going to beg (please, please, please) J for some drums when he gets back from the hockey game. I need something more pounding, move driving, something that matches my heartbeat. No offense to Ruby. I’m just angrier than that.
I’m glad I retraced my last run’s footsteps because I was able to reclaim a glove I didn’t know I had lost. Before the run I conducted a lame search for it. Lame being “I bet it’s in this pocket. Nope. Huh. I guess it’s around here somewhere.” And out the door I went. It’s a little worse for wear (looks like a few people stepped on it) but I’m glad I found it just the same. (I still have the gloves and to this day I won’t wear them for anything else but running) Goals: By NEXT Monday I want to run four miles. Promises: Eating better & not skipping the routine. Ever.
It’s funny but I don’t remember what I did that caused me to miss a run date or eat so poorly. Hell, I don’t even remember what crap I ate. Guilt has this funny way of hanging around for no apparent reason. My latest guilt is all about the gloves. I think I need to take this run outside. No. I know I need to.