Two faced. Hypocrite. Contradictory. Split personality. Fraudulent. SayOneThingDoAnother. Words like these buzz around my head. Who am I to be offering advice when I am firmly rooted in the opposite of what I preach? I am the girl who can cancel a dinner date because my pajamas and slippers look more appealing than the venue or the menu. Is it offensive to say I prefer solitude to the somebody sometimes? I’m the one who can have a whole week off and never see the great outdoors because I have a great book. Nose in that great book. Glancing up only so I don’t choke on sips of tea. I’m lucky I’m married. Company comes to me. Whether I want it to or not. My somebody keeps me social even on my worst of days.
What does it say about me that I’m not consistent? In high school I moved furniture around my dorm room like it was a showroom. I got sick of same old after seven weeks. Years after college someone made the comment they couldn’t find my fashion style. It was quite possible I didn’t have one. Never had one. Leather one day, Laura Ashley the next. Cowboy boots Monday. Hippie dress Tuesday. Business suit Wednesday. Shorts and a tee Thursday. Friday black lace. I tossed out relationships whenever I tired of them. Left handed with tendencies toward the right. Preferred green until something red came my way.
No matter how you come to your conclusions it is obvious I cannot practice what I preach because I can’t stay consistent. I refuse to commit. I should come with a disclaimer. I am of two minds.