Of Two Minds

Two faced. Hypocrite. Contradictory. Split personality. Fraudulent. SayOneThingDoAnother. Words like these buzz around my head. Who am I to be offering advice when I am firmly rooted in the opposite of what I preach? I am the girl who can cancel a dinner date because my pajamas and slippers look more appealing than the venue or the menu. Is it offensive to say I prefer solitude to the somebody sometimes? I’m the one who can have a whole week off and never see the great outdoors because I have a great book. Nose in that great book. Glancing up only so I don’t choke on sips of tea. I’m lucky I’m married. Company comes to me. Whether I want it to or not. My somebody keeps me social even on my worst of days.

What does it say about me that I’m not consistent? In high school I moved furniture around my dorm room like it was a showroom. I got sick of same old after seven weeks. Years after college someone made the comment they couldn’t find my fashion style. It was quite possible I didn’t have one. Never had one. Leather one day, Laura Ashley the next. Cowboy boots Monday. Hippie dress Tuesday. Business suit Wednesday. Shorts and a tee Thursday. Friday black lace. I tossed out relationships whenever I tired of them.  Left handed with tendencies toward the right. Preferred green until something red came my way.

No matter how you come to your conclusions it is obvious I cannot practice what I preach because I can’t stay consistent. I refuse to commit. I should come with a disclaimer. I am of two minds.

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Categories: Confessional, life | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Of Two Minds

  1. Ruby Tues

    Oh honey, you do have patterns and you do have a style. But your patterns have a lot of variance and your style is not narrow. You try new things and you mix it up – keeping what works and purging the rest. To the untrained eye, this may seem quite random and inconsistent. But there is nothing random or inconsistent or about you my dear. Of that I am certain. 🙂

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