Kisa and I may be out of jobs as early as yesterday. Things are beyond crazy for both of us. Despite our same situations we couldn’t be in more different places. He has security, a safety TakeCareOfYou net. While I have insecurity, looking over my shoulder, who can I trust? A big black hole. Kisa has choices. I wait and see if I have no choice. Someone I consider friend said something sad – we have no hope. Hope is all that I have left. Here’s what I used to have. I used to have dreams. I used to have drive. I used to have determination. Make the place a better place was my attitude, my stance, my fight song. Go team go! I asked others around me to rally. Rallied despite reality. Now, it may all be gone in the blink of a burnt out bulb. All my ideas blown out, turned off, dark.
Funny. Funny because we just poured a pretty penny into Penn. Hilltop got a makeover over the summer. New paint job, new pool, new tree trim, new wood stove, new back door. All on the payment plan of Chase, Mastercard, Visa, Discover, Home Depot…Not to mention Indiana. We’re still trying to recover from her loss. We had a plan that would take us through the holidays. A plan to be in good shape by the new year. Three months of lean seemed doable. Back then. Now I’m not so sure.
So the perspective has changed. Hotlanta looks…hot, sexy. A change of pace. A change of place. Maybe.