Say What You Want

I’ve been thinking a lot about talk. Not only what you say but how you say it. I’ve become sensitive to diplomacy and decorum. I’m trying to mind the recipient as well as the message. It’s not going well.

Case in point: work. Why can’t you tell me what you want me to do? Why does it have to come out of the side of your mouth, spoken in code like a dirty secret? What exactly are you saying and why can’t you just say what you want? I am frustrated by the rules of engagement; the regulations of proper. This has become a he-said, she-said, no one wants to own up to it conversation.

Case in point: family. You are blunt. You say what you want. For that I’ll give you credit. But, why so harsh? How do you think the words, “I just want to get this over with…” make me feel? You don’t want to be on the phone with me. That much is true. I am taking up too much time. I am a chore to you. Never mind your next two utterances were “Ed died. Thought you should know.” You could have prepared me better than that. You could have eased the news into my ear with a little more gentle care. I knew he wasn’t well. I know you didn’t believe me when I said I was just thinking about him. I was. I have been. Say what you want. I’ve known him all my life. I will miss him for the rest of my life.

Case in point: friends. Complain, complain, complain. A word of warning – I leave people like you. Unfriend you. Delete you. Kick your friendship to the curb. Goodbye. Like I told that other guy, the one just like you, I have to surround myself with people who make me a better person. I can’t stand negativity for too long. I am a Black Cloud. It doesn’t take much to bring me and myself down. Why make it worse with the likes of your naysayer attitude? Say what you want, but say something nice before I say it’s over.

Categories: Confessional, life | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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