I’m a little peeved at the universe today. How is it that I emerge from my sullen disposition only to come face to face with more crap? Yeah, yeah – life is not fair and all that garbage. I only understand that just so far and only for so long.
I cannot understand. I have ticker shock. Will you be okay in Heart-ford? I hate hospitals even more than where you are. When I told a Lovely man about your condition he went white with surprise. Nasty of me to spring that on him so suddenly, without warning. I worried as he stuttered. What had I done? Why had he not read his mail? We never got a chance to act in interim and decide the next best course of action. I didn’t see him again. I spent the rest of the afternoon worrying about two hearts instead of one.
Your loss is profound. The circle of life dictates that all things die eventually. Except. Except, I cannot help but hate the hurt just the same. How strange. You sent me the perfect card in my time of loss; your words were beautiful and yet I am at a loss as to how to return the gesture. Sentiments sound hollow, fall flat. It’s not enough to say sorry. I’ll be honest – I admire your strength, your grace, your tenacity to deal when others around you are in danger of coming undone. It’s not the unraveling that scares me, it’s the hanging on. The tangles of not letting go. I can only hope there is reason for the ridiculous.