Second Thoughts

I sometimes wish I could disown my life. Just walk away. That sounds awful of me, I know. I can’t help it. There are times when I’m sick of everything and everyone around me. I get tear-my-hair-out angry at the stupidest things. At the stupidest times. Because I’m stupid.
Last night Kisa and I went to a big box store for a few items. In and out or so we wanted. I wanted it to be quick because my night was wasting away. All I wanted was to get home to a good movie and an even better glass of wine. In the time we were in the store shopping some azzhole parked next to us, cleaned out his/her car and drove away. We’re not talking a dump of an ashtray or the emptying of a soda bottle. This was blatant disregard for normal social protocol. Candy wrappers, crumpled chip bags, beer cans, soda bottles, an entire fast food meal, cigarette packs, losing lottery tickets, a half-eaten somethingerrather, an apple core….A huge pile of garbage left in the parking spot beside us. I was beside myself with anger. Par for the course considering my mood all week. A friend’s dad dying, Natalie’s mom losing her cancer battle, my cat not eating, my sister not speaking, my mom still crying, my grandfather still dying, all amid the rumors I was fired. So tired. The only good things to come along this week were a farm visit with someone who understands me better than I do and the sweet face of Roxanna. Can I say I fell in love?
All the way home I ranted about places to throw away trash. All the normal, acceptable places to throw away garbage. It barely made me feel better. Maybe I need anger management about this waste management. On second thought maybe I just need a moment to scream.

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Categories: Confessional | Tags: , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Second Thoughts

  1. becelisa

    nothing you’re upset about is stupid. even the trash that seems small in comparison to everything else. take a moment. scream. let it out. xoxo

  2. sarah

    (((HUGS)))

  3. for the last five days i have ignored the run. instead i chose to sit on the floor with a lethargic cat. talk about transference!

  4. Ruby Tues

    It was, as they say, the straw that broke the camels back. Or, perhaps, it was a reminder that it was time for you to purge out all that emotional garbage you’ve been driving around with. Hope you felt better after the purge 🙂

  5. thank you xoxoxo

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