Now that the 8th annual Just ‘Cause walk for breast cancer is over I am feeling a weird potpourri of emotions.
Relieved. I didn’t injure myself as badly as last year. My ankle is not the size of Africa and I can walk a relatively straight line without looking like Igor. Disappointment. While I didn’t kill my ankle or knee or hip, I did manage to produce seven beautiful blisters the likes of which I have never seen before. I have spent the last three days lovingly soaking, bandaging, and taping each foot in the hopes I’ll heal in time for graduation.
Proud. I walked with some of the most amazing women and garnered new friendships in the process. It’s not easy for me to make friends. Most of the time I don’t even want new friends because I love the ones I have and they’re all I need. Or so I think. The women I walked with this year are some of the most interesting, and gracious, and wonderful people. I am a better person for having met them.
Grateful. My husband and mother are simply the best. They allowed me to worry about nothing but the walk. Every other detail was taken care of. My job was to put one foot in front of the other for sixty miles and they did the rest. I even got a Chipotle visit AND an ice cream cake when it was all said and done.
Regret. I have been telling people this was my last year being involved in this walk. I don’t know if I can really say that. This Just ‘Cause thing is a force to be reckoned with. This is a group of powerful women, determined to make great things happen year after year after year. Raising $105,000 among 43 women is nothing to scoff at (although we all shed small tears when the number was announced). I think I need this in my life. Somehow.
Hope. They say breast cancer numbers are on the decline. Dr. Kuter’s research is finally finding out some things about prevention. Survival is possible now more than ever. We are not to give up hope or think for one second that our involvement does not make a difference (woops – too late). I must regain faith that anything I do makes a difference. So. Maybe in the grand scheme of things this is not said and done. I am not said and done?