Health & Happiness

If I were to play the happiness game I would say three things: happiness is a healthy uterus; happiness is having an understanding mother; happiness is Halloween is almost here.

The dual ultrasound went great. So, the cervix is a little wonky and the uterus isn’t “straight” but who the hell cares? Everything else looks fine. We’ll watch a cyst to make sure it stays small and we won’t worry about some excess fluid. Both ovaries were accounted for and all is well. We don’t know how to explain the excess blood but we aren’t worries about that right now. Sorry to be so blunt, but all things considered, I am happy to be healthy downstairs. Upstairs is a wait-and-see. I have seven more days to be patient before being the patient and seeing the bigger (A-B cup) picture. As I told a friend last weekend, I want to be pragmatic about all this. No sense freaking out until there is something to freak about. Okay, when everything seemed to be going wrong I had a few sleepless nights, but I’m okay now. Really. I appreciate the ones who are not making a big deal of this (thanks, Manda).
Having said all that, I’m not excited about the mammo. Here’s what I wish health industry people would do: for every annual screening Playtex, Bali, Victoria’s Secret…someone in the bra industry gives out a coupon for not only a professional bra fitting, but a discount on a knock-your-socks-off bra. Wouldn’t that be sexy? Wouldn’t that be taking the health of your boobs to the next level? As someone who can’t find a well-fitting over the shoulder boulder holder, I am all for it!

Anyway, Halloween is almost here…just moments away. When I talked to my mother she lamented over a rotting pumpkin being her only decoration for the season. After seeing the mechanical, air-filled, blazing-with-lights yard wonders on the mainland I can understand why it’s a little hard to get excited about a rotting, organic and orange orb in her yard. I laughed with her but decided her pumpkin sounded scarier than any plastic plug-in thing. All she would have to do is give it a face, maybe some hair and tell everyone it’s dying of the Black Plague….

I miss Halloween at home. I wonder if the kids are going dress their scariest best, only to bounce around in the back up a beater pickup truck going down the dark, dirt road. I wonder who will give out the best treats this year. Mom righteously declared she had Smartfood and granola bars. Riiiiighht. She won’t win first prize with her well-meaning ways. My vote is for the ghost of Zimmie past. Penny candy treats in an old fashioned case. I’ll take ten Swedish fish and who cares if they smell a little musty…

Happy Halloween!

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Categories: Confessional | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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