I Could Learn

I wish I could learn to ignore inconsideration. People tell me not to take rude so personally. Why do I even pick it up at all? Why take it anywhere at anytime? When is a big deal big, anyway? It shouldn’t be if I could learn to not care about it so much. Until it becomes all about me.

Case in point: I invited someone to something. No reply at all. No no thank you. No sorry can’t make it. Not even a thanks for asking. Silence. Like I never even asked. That to me is worse than the person who said yes but didn’t actually show. Yes shows interest. No shows honesty. I have no idea what silence shows but it bothered me. Bothers me still. Maybe no reply is the new silent no. Isn’t that what they teach you? You have choices, options, decisions. Not doing anything is a choice, an option, a decision. Doing nothing actually is doing something. I know this for myself. I am my own worst enemy.

Case in point: Someone asked me to get off my azz. He said he was worried sick about me. Do something, he urged. Do anything. I ignored him and his annoying encouragement. My silence angered his ability to care and he became bothersome and bullying. He wouldn’t go away. Wouldn’t Let Me Be. I had made the choice to do nothing and it got to me. Finally, my inconsideration killed me. I called him back. Started talking until it turned into a conversation. It began with a slow, halting 2.81 miles and three weeks later we haven’t stopped yet. Discussions are up to 21.72 and counting. I answered the call of the crazies. The road being one of them.

Categories: Confessional, running | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “I Could Learn

  1. Manda

    says the lady who’s so bad at returning calls…;)

    just kidding. you know I love you.

    • okay. so if you tried to call in June I apologize from the bottom of my heart. June was a realllllly bad month – so bad I almost sought professional help! Life is much, much better now. 😉 MISS YOU

      • Manda

        not sure if I did or not. more of a general comment…but we should definitely get together soon. I think I’m having chipotle for lunch tomorrow, and it’s all your fault…you’ve made me want to try it since I met you in NY that day!

        I’m glad things are better now. I’m exhausted at the moment, but taking tomorrow off to relax. hopefully that will make things a bit easier. Miss you terribly too.

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